Friday, April 9, 2010


Today is hard. I am pretty bummed. Gaylon and I have been ttc for 11 mos and no luck so far. Trouble started about 2 years ago when we first came back from China. I was off bc for a month or so because I could not get the refill over there. And I waited until I had a new job (insurance) to get back on it. But by that time my periods were all over the place. Each month they would get farther and farther apart. I went to see my PA to figure out the issue (each cycle was > 40 days, some close to 60).

After some blood tests I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and I was put back on bc to regulate hormones and my cycle. Since we were just married that seemed to work fine because we were not trying to have children just yet. But we did decide to start trying June 09. Since I knew that I might have a hard time I was charting from the begining and hoping that maybe my doctor was wrong and it would be easy for me to get pregnant. After all it seemed like it was easy for everyone else I knew. My sister in law got pregnant while on bc and my mom says she got pregnant with me 6 weeks after getting off the pill. I have more than a few friends that got "accidentally" pregnant without even trying. Besides you are led to believe in sex ed classes that you would get pregnant the minute you have sex protected. WRONG!

I have learned that there is a science to baby making and I am getting my masters in it. First there is not a lot of time each month (make that hardly any) that you can actually get pregnant. Second, saliva, water, lube, they all inhibit sperm from even making it to their destination. And in my case when your cycle is long and there is only a 24 hour window every 40-60 days, my chances were very slim. But we tried hard for a while and then unexpectantly I saw >18 high temps on my cycle in November 09. This usually means that yay, you ovulated and are probably pregnant. I took about 3 tests and they were all negative, but still high temps and no period. I felt pregnant, my boobs hurt so bad. But then one Friday after school I was just going to use up my last test and I couldn't believe it- there was a faint pink line. I called my PA and was sent for a blood test. I found out on that Monday that I was pregnant! But by Wednesday morning I started cramping and bleeding very badly. We miscarried at 6 weeks. :(

Ugh... but we kept right on trying- no luck. I had started to cut out sugar from my diet and watch my carbs and was seeing my cycles become more regular. I had an appointment with an OB who specializes in infertility in January and was hoping for good news. In January I had more tests run and found out that I did have PCOS. But by the time we did all the tests it was March, and now I am on my first round of Clomid which started on 3/20/10. Taking 50mg days 5-9 and using OPKs and BBTs. The paper I was given says I will ovulate between cd 12-21.

Today is cd21 and nothing....all negative OPK (ovulation prediction kits) and I am even testing twice a day so I don't miss the LH surge. :( Temps are low with no rise at all. This morning I thought, maybe today will be the day...but no. :( Called my new doctors office- they are wonderful- and the nurse said that it sounds like I have not ovulated and I probably won't ovulate past day 21. :( :( But she was very sweet and understanding. I felt like she understood what a disappointment this was for me. She told me to just keep taking my morning temperature and using the OPKs and if I don't start my period by cd39 to call them. And of course if I do then to call them that day too so I can go in for a clomid check and get more meds I guess. But I will also bring my chart with me.

I was just excited because I really thought this would work for me. And even though my doctors had said that they were not sure I was even ovulating, I thought that maybe I was since I did get pregnant before. (I stopped charting after the miscarriage until I started clomid) So...sigh...UGH...

But on a better note, my friend Leticia just had a beautiful baby boy yesterday named Ryker. I was able to go see him and he is amazingly adorable! It was a good distraction and I'll be going by after work to see her and the baby again today. I feel like everyone around is pregnant but me...

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