Sunday, August 29, 2010
I had to take some time off of this for a while. Life sucks in some ways right now, but I am throwing myself into work. This year has started off really well, my new first graders seem really adorable. So that is good. We are also buying a house near my parents and that is giving me a lot to think about too.
Well the last cycle worked- for a while. We did become pregnant, which was wonderful. But I knew something was not right, but you know how you hope you are wrong. It started off just like the last time I got pregnant, with a very faint positive on a home pregnancy test. Was trying to stay positive thinking that maybe I am just nervous because this has happened before. Went in for a blood test and it was positive but my hcg (the pregnancy hormone) was low as well as the progesterone- not good. They could do nothing about the hcg but I was prescribed progesterone supplements. Went back in for another blood test 2 days later and my hcg levels were going down when they should be going up. I was told to stop taking the progesterone and that I would miscarry within a few days. I was devastated. Mom was out of town, but thankfully I was headed to see my grandparents anyway. That helped me by staying busy, being spoiled by a wonderful granny and papa, and keeping my mind off what has just happened again. Came home and threw myself into this new school year.
I am doing okay considering all that we have been through. I have had a few moments though, but I am trying to stay positive, but honestly I am losing hope a bit. Next cycle they are going to start doing some testing to see why we are having these recurrent miscarriages. Sigh... I just feel horrible about it all. Can anything else really be wrong??? It seems as though this will never happen for me. And that is very depressing.