Well I think I have come to a point of what will be, will be. I am not stressing anymore and I am just trying to stay focused on what is right in front of me. I have a wonderful job that I love, my class is amazing this year. I spend 5 days a week with 20 wonderful 6 year olds. I feel good about what I do everyday. Gaylon and I are buying a beautiful home, which has really helped keep my mind off all the depressing stuff. We are busy finding new tile, ceiling fans, and painting. I love doing house things and decorating, its fun. I am even eating better and have lost 7 lbs already ;)
The latest update in all this is that I had a ton of blood work done to see if I had any of the typical issues that cause recurrent miscarriage, and for once on this journey (to my honest disbelief) all tests came back negative. So- no blood clotting disorders, no autoimmune disorders, no lupus. So no besides the PCOS, endometriosis, and blocked fallopian tube... there is still hope. Maybe it will happen, or maybe we'll adopt, or maybe we'll do IVF. Who knows but I am not putting any more pressure/guilt on myself. Or at least I am going to try really hard not to.
Stay busy...my new motto.